Why does my daughter treat me this way?

For 17 years I struggled as a single Mom, and worked my way through all the crappy jobs, to keep my kids in there home, and to keep a certain lifestyle. A year ago I finally got the dream job, with the good pay, benifits, retirement, and was going to be able to be financially stable, and my husband, and kids, and myself, would'nt have wanted for anything. But Just because, somebody didnt like me, for no reason, and got me fired, it affected all our lives. I was devastated, and had to go on medication, and have not been able to work for a year. After working all those years to meet the goal, and to get there, just to have it taken away, and have to start all over. Now my 17 year old daughter got mad at me, and said, hurtful things about me not working. How I just sit in the chair and watch soap opera's, and put money into the yard,and she had to get a job, because I can't. She keeps all her money, so I don't know what she is talking about.

Why does my daughter treat me this way?imax theatre

Because you allow it.

Why does my daughter treat me this way?performing show opera theater

You should put her in her place. You are the mom and who cares wat you do. At 17, she needs a job, who does she think she is?
she's 17, she'll learn. Keep your chin up.
She's 17...that's a difficult age for a girl. She didnt mean what she said to you, trust me. She was angry. I think that you should get into some counseling for youself...just so you can feel better...and keep up the job search. It will be better once you get a job and get out of the house. And if I were you, I would discipline your daughter for being so rude. I realize you cant spank her, but you might want to consider taking some priviliges away. A child has no right to talk to their mother like that. Kudos to you for being a strong, single mother for so long. You will do just fine!
Well like you said. It affected all of your lives.

It sounds like she is mad at you for that.

She's mad because she has to get a job and she feels she is still a child so why should she?

Maybe she is angry at how her life has turned out... and is blaming it on you because you are there.

Maybe you should do something OTHER than sit in the chair and watch tv...

Talk to her, look after her. Be a mother.
maybe because shes upset at going through all the struggles too, you tried and tried, got the job you wanted then for whatever reason it was taken away. shes prolly frustraited because things were getting better then she had to step up and help.
Tell her then that as soon as she turns 18 she can move out and then she won't have to deal with it ever again. She will find out the hard way that she is getting treated like a princess right now.
im a teen so i sorta understand ur daughter's feelings. There are several possibilities, one is that she's feeling stressed out, because all of a sudden the whole family is on her hands, because u cant work and ur a single mom, money must be tight. Or maybe some kids at her school were making fun of her because u dont hav a job. no offense.

i dont really know, it's probably the stress one.=]

God bless!
Talk to your daughter about how hard you are trying to support your family and how upset you are about loosing your job. Explain to her that her having a job isn't supporting the family at all becuase she isn't giving any money to help out. Although this may have been hurtful, everyone in your house is probably very stressed out and upset. She probably didn't really mean what she said. She is still your daughter and you will always be her mother. Good luck. I hope things get better for you.
Well thats just how teenagers are i know cuz i am one and sometimes teenagers dont think before they say somthing but dont worry im sure when she grows up and moves out you guys will become closer !!
well she does need a job.
She's feeling sorry for herself because you are not spoiling her anymore. Beat her butt and tell her to knock it off and start respecting you again. Depression is no picnic. I know that from personal experience. Get her to do some research and maybe include her in your doctor appointments so she can understand better. My husband did not realize how hard it is to deal with until he got hurt and has been out of work. Now he knows what I have been dealing with for years and is more sympathetic. Maybe your daughter could use some sympathy for you by understanding what you are dealing with.
why can't you get a job?

get off your @ss, stop watching those soap operas and get a job!

(is that what she's saying? because she sounds pretty smart to me.)

maybe she hates seeing you all depressed, sitting in front of the TV and downing pints of haagen daas, and is only wanting her happy, hardworking mother back again.

*EDIT*

Do you and your daughter share this yahoo account? because 3 days ago you were asking what hairstyle you should have for YOUR PROM!
becoz she doesn't understand d ctuation! u hve 2 tell her wat's going on, so she'll understand! u should talk 2 her about it, ask her what's wrong and wat u can do 2 make her happy. evrything can be solved by conversations and by prayers, 2!
i think it might just be because she's a teenager. I dont think she fully understands the fact that you tried your best. A few years ago i felt the same way about my mom, only i never told her, but now i know that her not going to work really benefited me because she would always be there when i needed her. I think you shouldnt pay much attention to what she said. I know she's your daughter and it must hurt to hear that, but you have to understand that she's just being a little selfish because she probably feels stressed out because she had to get a job. When she gets older, she'll realize that you tried your best and she'll regret what she said. If youre happy staying being a stay at home mom, then i say you stick it out, and things will work out. If youre not happy, then just start making some changes. if you want to go back to work, i'm sure you can do it, just start applying. As long as your health is good, and as long as youre happy doing what youre doing, then just try to understand your daughter and her selfish times, they'll pass.
Teen years is a frusteratrating and confusing time for

kids.Try to sit down and talk to her.She doesn't konw

how you feel.
I am very sorry to hear that you are going through that. I used to be depressed. My oldest daughter was really beating on me mentally. It was like everything I had done for her was nothing. But you know what, our children don't understand what we go through until they get out in the REAL world and see it all for themselves. As mothers and wives, we have to keep everyone in the house on time and take care of the most detailed things for them everyday. One day she will see what you have done for herself. It is just a matter of time. Hope this helps. Take care.
Don't you recall how black and white the world was when you were 17

Or how you could only see things from your own perspective at that age ?

Don't you also recall thinking how much smarter you were than your parents when you were 17 ?

I am not justifying anything your daughter has said or done

All I am saying is that a 17 year old hasn't the life experience to give half the opinions they do - and as such you should take it that she is A a healthy young adolescent and B that she will not know her a-s-s from her elbow for about 4-7 years at which point feel free to remind her of what she said

Also feel free to remind her of this instance when she has kids of her own - You can even start the warning process now

Wait until you have children etc
She hasn't suffered that is why--you protected her from the suffering %26amp; she turns on you-, suffering builds character. We can never find peace from other people or any lasting happiness. Turn to Christ Jesus, for peace. Do not let her get to you any longer--nobody is worth it. try to focus on other things, not her. Bible says people will be lovers of themsleves and that is so true. You tried to show them that you were in control of things-but God is showing you who is really in control, that is a good thing for you.
I think often times, kids are ungrateful for all that their parents do for them. But since I do not know you or your daughter, my advice will be limited. I would suggest you get together with her and ask her what's going on through her mind. And I don't mean ask her from a victim point of view, or from a hurt stand point, because I think if you do it in this manner, she will just close off to you. But ask her in an assertive unemotional way. If she's unhappy about your situation, ask her to provide you with solutions to resolve it, rather than just complaining and hurting you about it.

Foremost, before doing anything, take sometime and pray to God or meditate about your situation, and try to see what's really going on. I know going through your experienced must have been devastating, but I feel you cannot just give up and sit at home. Life is full of opportunities, and if you were able to get that one, perseverance will get you another one even better.

May God Bless you, and provide you with the guidance you need.
I think its just because of her age. When I was 17, I was TERRIBLE to my mother. Moved out to live with my boyfriend and his family. She has to understand that you can't work right now, she may just be angry that she lost that lifestyle. She'll get over it.
She doesn't know what you're going through. Teenage girls are notorious for being self centred. Blame the hormones or what have you, and hope it's just a phase. I went through a phase like that towards my mum, but then I realized what she was going through and try to be supportive of her now.
Suzie, your daughter is hurting, too. She knows and feels your pain, but she's still so very young, her only emotional outlet is anger. She remembers how thrilled and how hard you worked for that job. She's not so angry at you as the unfair circumstances that have completely disrupted your family. Now, Suzie, is there any reason you cannot rise above this setback. Can you tuck this set back under your belt and find the strength to get up, get prettied up, and trot yourself down to a job placement agency ??? No, you may not find that ideal job again, but you just may find something to boost your self esteem and put the sparkle back into your young daughter's eyes. Good luck !!
well this seems very serious in your case but being a single mother is hard. my mother took care of me as a single mother and she struggled to take care of us we flipped out at her because she wasnt making enough money for us in our prospective and she got scared and sad so she got stressed so be careful because she will eventually get mad at you and you will scream back and that will destroy your family and her being 17 she wants everything everyone has. so thats it and you just have to let her know that she cant get everything.so, i hope this was helpful for you!GOOD LUCK

also her father think about it she might miss him and be angry about it. so she is taking out all the anger out on you dont let her do that its putting your self confidence level down.
think that shes old enough to pay board now considering how much money you have spent on her entire life. don't worry about her. when they get their first job they get overconfident and believe their smarter then their parents but they dont really mean it.
Its not the end of your life. You sound depressed and I think you need therapy. It wouldn't hurt to bring your daughter along too, and you can work together on the issues. HOPE THIS HELPS!!
I'm a little confused, why did you HAVE to go on medication %26amp; not be able to work for a year? The stress? I would think you would have rebounded quickly to clean up the mess or deal with the "would be" dream job firing somehow, legally. %26amp; ps, no one gets fired for "no reason." It just might not be a valid one, understand. %26amp; what about unemployement?

Now, I am a now grown woman whose mother did about the same thing, but throw in a daddy that tried to take it all in the divorce, a 170iq older sister with 3 personalities %26amp; bi-polar disorder %26amp; 2yr brothers, one Autistic.

Long story short...You are basically cheating your daughter out of the childhood she deserves. She's going to end up bitter because her mother didn't do the one thing she was suppose to by nature, be a mother. It would be one thing if you were "trying" to give her a stable existance, but the fact that you have "given up" %26amp; have left it up to her is the unfair pill she's having a hard time swallowing. Notice she wasn't so angry with you when she saw you were at least making an effort before. It's not all about you. You made the choice in life to have children %26amp; one of the rules is you do everything for them, you sacrifice %26amp; humble yourself for them.

What this taught me %26amp; my sibs now as adults? Well none of us are married, we've become miserly, territorial, %26amp; are all between 24-34 %26amp; none of us have children between the 4 of us because we're so angry at the fact that our parents didn't struggle they just gave up %26amp; left it for us to clean up, 20+ yrs of cleaning up someone elses' mess. Think about it..
First, it sounds like you're suffering from a form of depression. Perhaps talking with someone about your feelings and current situation might help your state of well being. Secondly, your daughter is acting like a 17yo. Her emotions tend to come out as anger and rebellion. In fact, I'd wager she's concerned about you and maybe even a little scared that you've changed from being a driven, self-suffcient woman to someone who appears "beaten". To a child who doesn't understand the grief that can come with a situation such as yours, it can seem that you're retreating from life. She may feel you will retreat from her too. I can understand your need to go through the grief process, but she can't. Just remember, it is a process that you must move through while not getting stuck there. Good luck to you and your family.
Part of the problem is she is a 17 year old girl and you are her mother.

The other issue is that kids often see themselves in the future. I don't think either one of you would like your current situation to be part of her future.

Also, students toady have a lot of responsibility packed on them. They must get good grades, do well on state standardized tests, get a job to pay for all the rising expenses. Not to mention the pressures of dating, relationships, and sex. When she comes home to see mom "relaxing" (be it real or perceived) it irritates her because she knows she can't.

Life for young people is getting more and more difficult each day. Hammer down on her when it really matters and let her relax and be herself as much as realistically possible.
well being a teenager i understand where she is coming from, she doesnt see how hard you worked before, she sees now, she sounds like shes the type that lives in the presint not the past. and some what in the future. she sees that its been a years, so a job didnt go rite, a year is a long time to be able to get over that. she sees that now she has to provide for herself, and she doesnt want to help you because she thinks you dont deserve her help. you sit in a chair, it was a great job, and it probably hurt alot to lose that great of a job but your suposed to be her role model, when life screws you over and throws you out on ur *** your suposed to get up and walk rite back in. even if you couldnt get a job as good as that.

i understand that you had to do alot on your own for a long time, but maybe you need to talk to her, tell her how hard it as for so long. and that you just want to give up now.

but the more and more i think of this, i am getting the feeeling she feels your giving up on everything. shes doing what she has to to take care of herself. thats suposed to be your job. thats how us kids think. my mom shes been working hard to take care of us. she got thrown on her *** so many times. but the reason i will never talk to her the way your daughter did is because she got up and took some of the most worst jobs ever just to show her kids that things do get hard in life but you have to keep going.

you have to understand thats how your daughters thinking. my advice to you is to talk to her. ask her how she feels, then tell her how hard its been on you, sometimes you just need a break at analize things before you can get back out there. just talk to her. im sure she will understand. just sit down and talk to her like an adult. not a kid. things will be ok! im sure of it, so good luck!
You need to show her who is in control, you are and she is 17 she needs to work or she will never be an independant adult. Do you want a 30 yr old living at home you can't see it now but if you don't have her work now and pay for the things she wants not needs (ex. cell, car insurance, certain clothes such as 50 dollars for a pair of jeans and etc.